Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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