Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
