I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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