okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
