I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
