He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
