I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
