my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
