the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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