Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
