i will never coherently bang her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my poor anus
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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