idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
