I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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