"it" just moved
I bet he comes in French.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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