And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
