he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I could fuck to npr.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
