Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
