dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
