We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
