There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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