a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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