fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
