i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
