is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
