I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
