we have officially lost it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
