she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
