There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
