VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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