Moan for me like Helen Keller
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
