if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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