This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
