I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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