my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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