I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
