I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
