i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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