I will die if light touches me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
