I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
