If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
