We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Less talking, more tequila
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
