Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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