I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
