fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
