Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
