next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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