he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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