Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
