it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
