Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
