Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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