This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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