u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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