Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
