garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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